Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
