Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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