Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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