Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
