If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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