I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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