and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
