oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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