Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
