porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
