so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
