with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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