after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.