Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.