Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i

Replies (34) Good night (904) Bad night (3421) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wanted to see November 5, 1985

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133

Replies (19) Good night (4000) Bad night (519)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world http://tfl.nu/v7kq

Replies (7) Good night (675) Bad night (3550) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(818): View more from California

All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on http://tfl.nu/912s

Replies (10) Good night (3343) Bad night (1321) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS. http://tfl.nu/pf4u

Replies (58) Good night (14608) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there. http://tfl.nu/ct1u

Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (2060) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/09st

Replies (9) Good night (1512) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch http://tfl.nu/iuw1

Replies (20) Good night (2931) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(805): View more from California

WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

(1-805): View more from California

budget cuts

(805): View more from California

YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

(1-805): View more from California

budget cuts are serious business

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH (1-805): budget cuts (805): YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS (1-805): budget cuts are serious business http://tfl.nu/xrnj

Replies (14) Good night (3821) Bad night (682)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent. http://tfl.nu/jtvv

Replies (4) Good night (1870) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(660): View more from Missouri

The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(660): The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working. http://tfl.nu/zgl5

Replies (5) Good night (1029) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(904): View more from Florida

Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(904): Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire. http://tfl.nu/weew

Replies (14) Good night (835) Bad night (349)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night http://tfl.nu/xe5e

Replies (10) Good night (292) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(904): View more from Florida

Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3

Replies (8) Good night (308) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Really? A fat girl?

(1-206): View more from Washington

I'm walking her back. Chill out.

(1-206): View more from Washington

She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Really? A fat girl? (1-206): I'm walking her back. Chill out. (1-206): She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though. http://tfl.nu/xw6d

Replies (19) Good night (577) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: