I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
