Can Purell be used as lube?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
