Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
