Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
