Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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