ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
