You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
