Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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