i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
