i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
