shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
