You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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