I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
