had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize