I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
