Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
