well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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