The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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