I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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