So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
