Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
