Kiss
Puke
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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