well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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