I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize