So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
