We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
