Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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