i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
