Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it's like iHOP with fire
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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