and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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