I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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