I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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