well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
