Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
