i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
