I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize