Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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