She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
