I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
