i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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