did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
