I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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