There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
