I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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