If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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