at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
