You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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